My kids, the 2 who went to public school, both had great kindergarten years. Our first year of schooling proved that my kids were well adjusted, thrived in a classroom setting, listened well, loved to socialize, and if anything were advanced, having all A's on their report cards. I had high hopes for them, figuring I had the world's smartest kids who would give me no trouble in school or with their studies. They were learning, and they were happy! First grade for my daughter was completely opposite. She came home daily with bad marks for not listening, for being disruptive, and her first report card showed very low marks. What the hell happened over the summer?! She wasn't coming home smiling anymore, rather scared that I would punish her, furthering the negativity that she was experiencing in class from her teacher... if you could call this woman a teacher. She would do her homework at night, completed class work, participated in all projects, but somehow her teacher still had nothing but unfortunate things to say about her as a student. It was during a parent/teacher conference I realized my daughter wasn't the problem. It was the teacher and her outlook on my daughter's individual, creative, playful, unique personality. In other words, the fact that she was a KID not easily conformed to silence and standards. We switched schools after that year to a local charter school new to our area. The first two years at the charter seemed to go well in terms of my kids being treated well and being loved by their teachers, however as they moved up in grade, their grades slowly went down. Nightly homework became uphill battles, reading logs went blank as they either refused to read, or trudged through the pages fighting back tears. Standardized tests were going incomplete as they tapped out from the overload of worksheets that they felt they would be told they failed on anyhow. At the time, I was disappointed, but now realize I don't blame them! No adult I know could sit through that with a smile on their face and determination in their heart, so why should I expect my kids to?!
The Common Core standards and teaching methods definitely squashed my kids' love of learning, created self doubt and frustration... for us all. We saw it coming on slowly, but didn't realize it until this past year when a very informed and knowledgeable friend opened my eyes to it all! If that wasn't enough, the unfortunate way my son was treated and labeled was a final straw. Public school was not created with the 'special ed' student in mind. Sure, they accommodate, they tweak rules, put special tools in place to help the child, or at least that's what they tell you in order to then place all blame of failure on the child and parent, claiming the school has done all it could. These children are then labeled, targeted, by other students, teachers, and even admins. My son is brilliant. Advanced, educationally ahead of the game when it comes to his grade level standards. However, due to the social stigma that he had been nailed with, it just didn't matter. Our last year of public school, my son's 3rd grade homeroom teacher was amazing. She was patient, understanding, loving. Unfortunately, she couldn't be by his side every minute of the day, those minutes when he was thrown to the wolves and eaten alive by the anxiety, torture, teasing, and scapegoating that he was subjected to. It interfered with his ability to apply his genius, to focus on lessons, and absorb the standards being forced upon him. To know that the very adults who were there to protect my son where in fact the worst violators of his safety and best interest just sickened me beyond belief, and I lost ALL trust in the public school system. This cannot be called education, this cannot be what is considered best when it's slowly grinding his self esteem, and his very self worth down to dust.
As for my daughter, a grade level ahead of her brother, the undeniable cruelty of young girls began to wave it's ugly head, and to a loving, accepting-of-everyone type of girl like her, it was nothing more than a confusing, crushing blow, not just a lesson to be learned. An almost overnight depression swept over her as girls were her BFFs one day, and whispering & snickering behind her back the next, just for the sheer satisfaction of control and popularity. She came home in tears, spent time alone at lunch and recess, was pushed aside or dismissed during group projects (which started reflecting in her grades on such assignments), and dreaded going back each morning.
I knew there had to be better options for my kids. No one is gonna protect them, advocate for them, or truly nurture their individuality like we can. The prospect of homeschooling, as well as unschooling, couldn't have come at a better time... I just wish it all could have happened sooner, before any damage had been done! Luckily, for our youngest, she will never have stepped foot in abrick & mortar school. She's getting the gift right from the start! My two older babies are still young enough, though, to have it all turn around and heal from the few short years of schooling, and truly enjoy the natural process of Life Learning.
Many who question homeschooling/unschooling ALWAYS ask "What about socializing?! They need to be around other kids!". If the emotional torment my baby girl was facing is the 'socializing' they are referring to that one can only get from being in school, than I'm happy to deny my children that 'opportunity'! We have found more positive relationships and friendships within our homeschool social group, my kids are lacking in NOTHING in terms of socializing. "But they need to learn to face the negative, not run from it!". REALLY?! As if the hours upon hours of testing, seat work, homework, and more testing wasn't enough, lets force them into socially crushing experiences, just to see what they do and how they handle it?! As if they aren't having a hard enough time dealing with their own growing and maturing bodies & minds, lets pit them against each other and see who is strongest, and hope that the weaker finds the positive in their loss to improve before intervention, counseling, depression, and (down the road) suicide sets in?! No thank you. I prefer to have them in a situation where they learn to see the positive, experience the positive from others, and grow to have self esteem, self worth, and are equipped to then correctly handle a bullying adversary, nipping it all before the onset of emotional and psychological damage, thank you very much.
This all was not a process that happened for us overnight. In fact, we are still in the midst of our transition. Deschooling has proven to be such an invaluable detox period, for them as well as us... to shift the paradigms necessary to view our education, as well as our lives, in a whole new perspective that we enjoy! As much as I wish I could say the kids had never experienced the negativity of public school, it's indeed what opened our eyes, sparked the fire that encouraged me to make changes, so in a small way, I'm grateful. Ya first need a storm, to see a rainbow! As a result, we are becoming closer, more positive, happier and learning the true value of family.
Thursday, February 12, 2015
Tuesday, February 3, 2015
Getting Back To Nature
Today, we needed to take a hike... literally! Feel the sun on our faces, breeze in our hair, smell the flora and droppings of fauna! LOL
Even though we reside in the Las Vegas valley, we are certainly not short of nature filled opportunities and experiences. There is more to this town than casinos, strip clubs, and 24/7 liquor stores. Luckily, Henderson is chock full of family friendly attractions, and we live a stone's throw away from one of our favorite ones!
After grabbing a few maps of the trails, we headed off in search of ducks, bunnies, and all things cute & fluffy! At the beginning of the trek, the kids were a constant blur on the horizon, apparently we move too slow compared to their light speed. After 30 mins of warnings to stay close and threats to 'head back to the car' (which were of course empty), we were fighting an uphill battle and let them loose. Instantly, the imaginative play with walking sticks (aka swords) ensued, as our warriors 'fought' their way through the terrain of an apocalyptical world infested with monsters and zombies. That is until tranquil seeming ducks were spotted minding their own business, floating in the wetland ponds, holding picketed signs reading "Yell at me!" and the kids excitement tripled as they plotted ways to coax the ducks to shore (which, much to their disappointment, didn't work).
Toward the end of our adventure, we were greeted by a community of friendly ladybugs (oh great, now the 10 year old wants to bring home a new pet that just can't survive without her intervention). It was the perfect opportunity for them to really connect to the wildlife here, since all the fluffy creatures were in hiding. Gently picking up and passing them around, the kiddos felt fulfilled in their quest to establish a relationship with nature and agreed that our next stop should be the parking lot. Good! My feet hurt and this 34 lb. 3 year old is intensifying the already strenuous effects of gravity while carrying her. Why didn't I bring the stroller?!
~ Map recognition: Spotting landmarks, determining coordinates, and consulting each other as a team before pursuing. TEAM WORK! Something my little aspie normally fights tooth and nail!
~ Building new found friendships: Meeting other children, with similar interests, similar educational paths, same natural curiosity of learning, and deep yearning to just having fun! And today, that is precisely what they all did. They had FUN!
With a few other families from our homeschooling social group, we met up at the Wetlands Nature Preserve. Starting in the visitor's center, the kids got hands on with interactive exhibits, exploring the inner workings of water flow, the differences in the habitats of various animals that live here, and the importance of protecting this environment.
After grabbing a few maps of the trails, we headed off in search of ducks, bunnies, and all things cute & fluffy! At the beginning of the trek, the kids were a constant blur on the horizon, apparently we move too slow compared to their light speed. After 30 mins of warnings to stay close and threats to 'head back to the car' (which were of course empty), we were fighting an uphill battle and let them loose. Instantly, the imaginative play with walking sticks (aka swords) ensued, as our warriors 'fought' their way through the terrain of an apocalyptical world infested with monsters and zombies. That is until tranquil seeming ducks were spotted minding their own business, floating in the wetland ponds, holding picketed signs reading "Yell at me!" and the kids excitement tripled as they plotted ways to coax the ducks to shore (which, much to their disappointment, didn't work).
Spotting animal tracks along the muddy and paved trails created much anticipation of actually seeing the creatures that left them. Sadly, being January, it was still a bit too cool out and we witnessed nothing beyond the ducks. Crossing bridges and venturing closer to the water reclamation plant, we did however have multiple photo opps with slow moving streams and even a roaring dam/water pathway! A beautiful display of the power that moving water can inhabit, with the audible tranquility of a rushing river. And lets not forget, the kids' opportunity to 'throw stuff at it'... such pleasure from launching pebbles and sticks!
Toward the end of our adventure, we were greeted by a community of friendly ladybugs (oh great, now the 10 year old wants to bring home a new pet that just can't survive without her intervention). It was the perfect opportunity for them to really connect to the wildlife here, since all the fluffy creatures were in hiding. Gently picking up and passing them around, the kiddos felt fulfilled in their quest to establish a relationship with nature and agreed that our next stop should be the parking lot. Good! My feet hurt and this 34 lb. 3 year old is intensifying the already strenuous effects of gravity while carrying her. Why didn't I bring the stroller?!
So, what did they learn from this outing?
~ Life science: The necessities of the creatures who call this environment their home, the life cycle (both living and passed on) and how each creature plays a part in this little ecosystem.
~ Map recognition: Spotting landmarks, determining coordinates, and consulting each other as a team before pursuing. TEAM WORK! Something my little aspie normally fights tooth and nail!
~ Safety: Does this path look clear? Should we take a shortcut through dense thickets without knowing what may lie within it? Will I get to my destination or fall flat on my ass by trying to bounce off these boulders in the middle of the stream? They made choices. They were able to discover and make determinations in the best interest of our group, as the self appointed leaders!
~ Respect for nature: The delicacy of fragile animals and insects, the beauty of the terrain, and just how positive (and negative) an impact that they as humans, can make. Yes, Ayla brought home a new tiny red & black spotted friend. Is it going to live in her homemade habitat of soil, grass blades, and twigs? Probably not. I will attempt to intervene and persuade her to set it free in our neighbor's garden before that happens. But from that, will she learn that the next innocent living creature she happens across, no matter how cute, is probably best left in its natural environment? I hope so... an important learning experience that she won't get from my insistent "no, you can't keep it". Most importantly, they had yet another experience of just how beautiful the world beyond their backyard can be. How peaceful, how tranquil nature can be, and how content they are just simply being observers of it all!
~ Physical activity: Being outside, in the fresh air, scenic walking.... oh so much walking....
But how much activity would they have experienced sitting at a classroom desk? Or on the couch staring at the TV for hours? Or obsessing over video games (which I truly support, by the way, but getting up and out will always trump the Xbox in my opinion).
~ Building new found friendships: Meeting other children, with similar interests, similar educational paths, same natural curiosity of learning, and deep yearning to just having fun! And today, that is precisely what they all did. They had FUN!The Pieces To Our Puzzle
I view our family as a puzzle. Each piece seemingly similar, but intricately unique with their differences. Disregard one piece, and we are incomplete. We are a free~thinking atheist family, raising our children with respect, teaching them a life of empathy, responsibility, and self accountability. We vow to never stop questioning, explore all that life has to offer, to become as self sustaining as possible, find the joy in everything we do, and nurture the love of learning that our children have naturally, allowing them (and us) to fully enjoy their childhood!
My husband, Robert, is the piece that holds us all together. Owner and operator of his window cleaning business,www.aglassactlv.com (plug!), he works to support us all. To afford the simple luxuries that I often think we take for granted, to allow me to be the SAHM and homeschooler that I wish to be, and supply the aforementioned bottomless pit of wine bottles. Oh how I love him so. He's an avid road & mountain biker, gun enthusiast, and racquetball extraordinaire! Oh so hot when all geared up on his Suzuki 250RM, or wearing his cap backwards like he did in high school, or annihilating targets with his Glock... gimme a minute... ok, I'm back :)
He's strong when I am weak, patient when I tap out... He balances me out in every way!
Me? I'm a typical housewife & mother. Tattooed, pierced, wine drinking, zombie obsessed, boot camp fitness lovin', concealed 9mm semi-auto carrying (ya know, for zombies), homeschooling mama. Hoping to add 'prepper' to my repertoire in the near future. WSHTF, ya gotta be ready! I love photography, however no where near any type of professional status. My Galaxy S5 Active's camera is my best friend, and my children hate with a passion how I've always got it in their face trying to capture every bit of oxygen they take in. As a self proclaimed Pintrest-oholic, I'm constantly attempting to create Pinterest disasters, often spending more $ on upcycling an item rather than just buying the damn thing brand new! At least I try... but never learn my lesson... lol. After joining a local boot camp fitness program (www.rawfitnesslv.com) and losing 20 lbs, I've become an advocate of healthy clean eating and exercise. I have a strong passion when it comes to homeschooling my kids, our atheist views, and generally breaking the mold in every way :)
Robbie and I met in high school (Green Valley HS class of 2001), both of us bowling on the varsity team. Yeah, I said bowling, what?! It's a sport people! He was my BFF before anything else, already proving, years ahead of time, that he would stick by me thru thick and thin. No better marriage material than that! We were married on October 12, 2012 on a sandy beach in Miami. People questioned why we would leave Vegas, an obvious wedding capital, to tie the knot on the opposite side of the country. We wanted something exotic, toes in the sand, a kiss while standing in the waves, ruining my gorgeous bohemian gown *sigh*... before hopping on a cruise ship to the Bahamas. It was perfect.
Humor is a major foundation of our marriage, as is the freedom to follow our mutual and independent dreams with each other's support. That is what unschooling has become for me, and I couldn't do it without him :)
Now for our mini-pieces! Our shape shifting pieces that change by the day, the hour, sometimes the minute... sometimes seeming as though they belong to a whole different puzzle on an entirely different planet! We are a blended work of art. I brought 2 kiddos to the table, he brought 1, and soon we had one together. Before we knew it, a family of 6... a modern day Brady Bunch!
Our eldest daughter, Ayla, recently turned 10. A tomboy in every way, tall & slender, a gorgeous fiery red headed, emerald eyed Irish spitfire! Artistic like no tomorrow, loves gymnastics, obsessed with Katy Perry (what young preteen girl isn't?!), kick ass on her Honda 70 dirt bike, and one of the newest members of the NHRA Jr. Drag Racing League. Funny and sarcastic (a little too sarcastic for her own good at times), she loves to entertain and be in the spotlight. A lover of animals, she just doesn't understand why we won't allow her to adopt every living creature we come by. Aside from opening up her own personal animal shelter/zoo in her room, her dream is to be a mermaid. A mermaid. Imaginative should be in her description! A girl after my own heart, she was truly meant to break the mold, she continues to make me so proud to call her my baby girl!
Next in line, is our only son, Aiden who is 8, turning 9 in April. Not only is he a middle child, but also the only boy, tortured with having 3 sisters. Poor guy. This kid is a genius. No, really, smart as hell! Photographic memory, a never ending source of trivia and knowledge, a math wiz, video game guru, and Minecraft junkie! Literal and to the point, honest, and 'matter of factly'. This handsome young man reminds me on an almost daily basis just how strong I can be! I can't imagine (although I try) what it is like to be in his head most days, what the world looks like through his eyes and I proudly admire his strength. Supporting him, guiding him, and I'll admit sometimes just living with him, is a roller coaster ride... a roller coaster on steroids. Aiden has high functioning Autism. Asperger's Syndrome to be exact. His daily struggles of perception, social awkwardness, and emotional instability is one of the MAIN reasons we threw in the towel with the public school system to begin homeschooling. Public school is not a world meant for kids like Aiden to succeed it. Frankly, with everything I have learned since choosing to explore homeschooling, I don't believe public school is a world for ANY child to thrive, but that's just my humble opinion. My goal is to create a learning environment that will allow him to feel comfortable being him, learning the way his brain is wired to. His siblings will one day thank him!
Rowan is our middle daughter, about to turn 6. A polar opposite of her older sister, she is our cautious & careful girly-girl. She loves anything pink & pretty, princesses, and ponies. Bright blonde hair and equally bright blue eyes, she's an observer, examines and premeditates any situation rather than diving right in. For the most part she is relaxed and quiet, but a magnet for technology. She will burn up the iPad or computer if left alone long enough, and able to give her brother a run for his money in Minecraft. She may be younger, but not to be outdone, she stacks up to her older siblings for sure. Rowan has recently moved to Denver, where she is a kindergartner in public school. However, that will not stop her from enjoying a life learning experience when with us :)
Last, but certainly not least, our 3 year old daughter, Paige. Oh, mommy got lucky with this one... born on October 29, there are many a bloody zombie themed birthday parties in her future! :) I'm so proud of this little beauty. She shares Rowan's blonde and baby blues, models after Aiden's hot temper, and takes after Ayla's daredevilish nature! She's a perfect mix of the 3! So intelligent, quick, and advanced for her age, Paige absolutely keeps us on our toes! She has no fear, an insatiable curiosity, and seems down right psychotic at times... She'll be a blast at parties when she's older! Idolizing her older sister's racing, she will be next in a dragster, together making the next Force sisters for sure! A mini-Minecraft expert, she loves to watch her brother crack out for hours, building houses and fighting zombie pigmen on the Xbox 360. She's the very definition of being the baby of the family. A tad bit spoiled and demanding, but very independent as she tries her best to keep up with the big kids. Paige was my wake up for wanting to change my parenting style, to be a better mom, that there were more positive methods that would make us all happier. Not that my other kids mattered any less, but I was not a SAHM with them. Paige taught me that I could do better, to be more worthy of them all. They owe her :)
So that is our masterpiece in a nutshell, my inspirations for pursuing a more natural unschooling life. Free to choose our own adventures, carve our own paths down the roads less traveled, enjoying life together without killing the natural love for learning. That is the greatest gift we can give to them! :)
My husband, Robert, is the piece that holds us all together. Owner and operator of his window cleaning business,www.aglassactlv.com (plug!), he works to support us all. To afford the simple luxuries that I often think we take for granted, to allow me to be the SAHM and homeschooler that I wish to be, and supply the aforementioned bottomless pit of wine bottles. Oh how I love him so. He's an avid road & mountain biker, gun enthusiast, and racquetball extraordinaire! Oh so hot when all geared up on his Suzuki 250RM, or wearing his cap backwards like he did in high school, or annihilating targets with his Glock... gimme a minute... ok, I'm back :) He's strong when I am weak, patient when I tap out... He balances me out in every way!
Me? I'm a typical housewife & mother. Tattooed, pierced, wine drinking, zombie obsessed, boot camp fitness lovin', concealed 9mm semi-auto carrying (ya know, for zombies), homeschooling mama. Hoping to add 'prepper' to my repertoire in the near future. WSHTF, ya gotta be ready! I love photography, however no where near any type of professional status. My Galaxy S5 Active's camera is my best friend, and my children hate with a passion how I've always got it in their face trying to capture every bit of oxygen they take in. As a self proclaimed Pintrest-oholic, I'm constantly attempting to create Pinterest disasters, often spending more $ on upcycling an item rather than just buying the damn thing brand new! At least I try... but never learn my lesson... lol. After joining a local boot camp fitness program (www.rawfitnesslv.com) and losing 20 lbs, I've become an advocate of healthy clean eating and exercise. I have a strong passion when it comes to homeschooling my kids, our atheist views, and generally breaking the mold in every way :)Robbie and I met in high school (Green Valley HS class of 2001), both of us bowling on the varsity team. Yeah, I said bowling, what?! It's a sport people! He was my BFF before anything else, already proving, years ahead of time, that he would stick by me thru thick and thin. No better marriage material than that! We were married on October 12, 2012 on a sandy beach in Miami. People questioned why we would leave Vegas, an obvious wedding capital, to tie the knot on the opposite side of the country. We wanted something exotic, toes in the sand, a kiss while standing in the waves, ruining my gorgeous bohemian gown *sigh*... before hopping on a cruise ship to the Bahamas. It was perfect.Humor is a major foundation of our marriage, as is the freedom to follow our mutual and independent dreams with each other's support. That is what unschooling has become for me, and I couldn't do it without him :)
Now for our mini-pieces! Our shape shifting pieces that change by the day, the hour, sometimes the minute... sometimes seeming as though they belong to a whole different puzzle on an entirely different planet! We are a blended work of art. I brought 2 kiddos to the table, he brought 1, and soon we had one together. Before we knew it, a family of 6... a modern day Brady Bunch!
Our eldest daughter, Ayla, recently turned 10. A tomboy in every way, tall & slender, a gorgeous fiery red headed, emerald eyed Irish spitfire! Artistic like no tomorrow, loves gymnastics, obsessed with Katy Perry (what young preteen girl isn't?!), kick ass on her Honda 70 dirt bike, and one of the newest members of the NHRA Jr. Drag Racing League. Funny and sarcastic (a little too sarcastic for her own good at times), she loves to entertain and be in the spotlight. A lover of animals, she just doesn't understand why we won't allow her to adopt every living creature we come by. Aside from opening up her own personal animal shelter/zoo in her room, her dream is to be a mermaid. A mermaid. Imaginative should be in her description! A girl after my own heart, she was truly meant to break the mold, she continues to make me so proud to call her my baby girl!Next in line, is our only son, Aiden who is 8, turning 9 in April. Not only is he a middle child, but also the only boy, tortured with having 3 sisters. Poor guy. This kid is a genius. No, really, smart as hell! Photographic memory, a never ending source of trivia and knowledge, a math wiz, video game guru, and Minecraft junkie! Literal and to the point, honest, and 'matter of factly'. This handsome young man reminds me on an almost daily basis just how strong I can be! I can't imagine (although I try) what it is like to be in his head most days, what the world looks like through his eyes and I proudly admire his strength. Supporting him, guiding him, and I'll admit sometimes just living with him, is a roller coaster ride... a roller coaster on steroids. Aiden has high functioning Autism. Asperger's Syndrome to be exact. His daily struggles of perception, social awkwardness, and emotional instability is one of the MAIN reasons we threw in the towel with the public school system to begin homeschooling. Public school is not a world meant for kids like Aiden to succeed it. Frankly, with everything I have learned since choosing to explore homeschooling, I don't believe public school is a world for ANY child to thrive, but that's just my humble opinion. My goal is to create a learning environment that will allow him to feel comfortable being him, learning the way his brain is wired to. His siblings will one day thank him!Rowan is our middle daughter, about to turn 6. A polar opposite of her older sister, she is our cautious & careful girly-girl. She loves anything pink & pretty, princesses, and ponies. Bright blonde hair and equally bright blue eyes, she's an observer, examines and premeditates any situation rather than diving right in. For the most part she is relaxed and quiet, but a magnet for technology. She will burn up the iPad or computer if left alone long enough, and able to give her brother a run for his money in Minecraft. She may be younger, but not to be outdone, she stacks up to her older siblings for sure. Rowan has recently moved to Denver, where she is a kindergartner in public school. However, that will not stop her from enjoying a life learning experience when with us :)Last, but certainly not least, our 3 year old daughter, Paige. Oh, mommy got lucky with this one... born on October 29, there are many a bloody zombie themed birthday parties in her future! :) I'm so proud of this little beauty. She shares Rowan's blonde and baby blues, models after Aiden's hot temper, and takes after Ayla's daredevilish nature! She's a perfect mix of the 3! So intelligent, quick, and advanced for her age, Paige absolutely keeps us on our toes! She has no fear, an insatiable curiosity, and seems down right psychotic at times... She'll be a blast at parties when she's older! Idolizing her older sister's racing, she will be next in a dragster, together making the next Force sisters for sure! A mini-Minecraft expert, she loves to watch her brother crack out for hours, building houses and fighting zombie pigmen on the Xbox 360. She's the very definition of being the baby of the family. A tad bit spoiled and demanding, but very independent as she tries her best to keep up with the big kids. Paige was my wake up for wanting to change my parenting style, to be a better mom, that there were more positive methods that would make us all happier. Not that my other kids mattered any less, but I was not a SAHM with them. Paige taught me that I could do better, to be more worthy of them all. They owe her :)So that is our masterpiece in a nutshell, my inspirations for pursuing a more natural unschooling life. Free to choose our own adventures, carve our own paths down the roads less traveled, enjoying life together without killing the natural love for learning. That is the greatest gift we can give to them! :)
Almost Unschooling
I'm not always the best mom to my kids. I don't spend much time with them during most days. They aren't allowed to make many choices. They don't think for themselves, explore their own interests, nor do they have much control over themselves as their own person. I support others who point out their failures. I allow others to tell them how to think, what to think, and when to think it. I support them being conformed to standards that compare them to everyone else, rather than them being free to become unique individuals. I'm not always the best mom to my kids, but this has gone unrealized.
Now wait, before you judge me based on that list alone, please know this: I love my kids. More than anything (besides my husband). I would never accept someone tearing them down, muffling who they are on the inside, making them feel as if they aren't good enough, no matter how hard they try. Comparing their abilities, their worth to others their own age, labeling them based on their differences or struggles. I'm a die hard Walking Dead fan and love all things zombie, but I don't necessarily need my kiddos turned into mindless shells of human beings! When all of this is happening to them, I'm not even present. Now read the above list again, and know that it's what many parents do just by sending their children to school. Public, institutionalized, brick and mortar school.
***PLEASE NOTE: In no way do I believe that parents who choose to send their kids to public school are less than good parents. Hell, up until two months ago, that's what I was doing. It's a very personal choice that only you can make. This blog reflects OUR personal choices, based on the type of parents we aim to be, and why it works for our family. In the process, if I can offer anyone any advice or they find any encouragement or solace in the fact that they are not alone in their search for a more natural educational experience for their child, then I've succeeded in my goals in writing.***
Now wait, before you judge me based on that list alone, please know this: I love my kids. More than anything (besides my husband). I would never accept someone tearing them down, muffling who they are on the inside, making them feel as if they aren't good enough, no matter how hard they try. Comparing their abilities, their worth to others their own age, labeling them based on their differences or struggles. I'm a die hard Walking Dead fan and love all things zombie, but I don't necessarily need my kiddos turned into mindless shells of human beings! When all of this is happening to them, I'm not even present. Now read the above list again, and know that it's what many parents do just by sending their children to school. Public, institutionalized, brick and mortar school.
***PLEASE NOTE: In no way do I believe that parents who choose to send their kids to public school are less than good parents. Hell, up until two months ago, that's what I was doing. It's a very personal choice that only you can make. This blog reflects OUR personal choices, based on the type of parents we aim to be, and why it works for our family. In the process, if I can offer anyone any advice or they find any encouragement or solace in the fact that they are not alone in their search for a more natural educational experience for their child, then I've succeeded in my goals in writing.***
Waking early, rushing to eat, dress, groom, pack lunches, and run out the door. Half way to school, we remember forgotten homework, late morning snacks, and who knows what else they should have shoved in their backpacks. Disgruntled from my short (but stern) lecture on how they need to take more responsibility for themselves, remember their own schoolday necessities and get themselves up and ready in a more timely manner, they exit the truck with a negative outlook on their whole day, and the day has only just started. I drive home feeling accomplished for simply winning the race against the damn tardy bell, while dishing out a heaping dose of 'I told you so' parenting, as if it was better than saying nothing at all. I addressed it, I pointed out their wrong doings so they may learn from them. I'm a good mom.
At the end of the school day, I'm there to greet them after the bell sounds. They run out smiling, or slink out with tears. I hug and kiss them, or roll my eyes as I head in to speak with whichever teacher it is that wants to report to me... The drive home is full of laughter or silence, as I contemplate what our talk will be about when we get home, if the teacher's report warrants my actions on top of the consequence she had already brought down upon them. I'm a good mom.
For an hour or so, they struggle to fight back tears during homework. I hate to admit that even I don't understand some of these worksheets, nor the confusing as all hell Common Core teaching methods used to introduce the material. But hey, you guys should pay more attention in class to what/how the teachers do it, we wouldn't have this nightly problem...(in other words, "It's your fault.") We sit down to dinner, discuss expectations for tomorrow's school day, clean up, shower, and ready for bed. Following my repeated "No" answer to every request for more dessert, to stay up, to finish one last race on Wii Mario Kart, they slink into bed, and I dive into one last glass of red wine, because I need it to relax... these kids stress me out! Wait.... the wine is gone. Didn't I just buy this bottle?! Oh well. I'll get another bottle tomorrow, chances are I'll need it. I deserve to indulge... I'm a good mom.
I finally make it to bed myself. I breathe. I reflect. I'm a good mom........ right? The doubt sets in. Or maybe it's the wine. I reach for my phone, browse Facebook, search for a few Pinterest ideas on parenting (I have quite a lengthy parenting board that is full of nothing but good intentions), forget about the day. Just to start over again in the morning.
That was our typical day to day life, at least Monday thru Friday, while enrolled in our public charter school. Life was busy, hectic, and unorganized (due to my overboard attempts to gain organization). It was down right NO FUN. This is a typical family life with school age kids, right? If you have school aged kids, you're to expect hectic schedules, constant resistance to preparing many mornings, forgotten assignments, teacher meetings, homework battles... our parents did, why are we to be any different? This is life, this is normal. I didn't know how wrong I was.
At the end of the school day, I'm there to greet them after the bell sounds. They run out smiling, or slink out with tears. I hug and kiss them, or roll my eyes as I head in to speak with whichever teacher it is that wants to report to me... The drive home is full of laughter or silence, as I contemplate what our talk will be about when we get home, if the teacher's report warrants my actions on top of the consequence she had already brought down upon them. I'm a good mom.
For an hour or so, they struggle to fight back tears during homework. I hate to admit that even I don't understand some of these worksheets, nor the confusing as all hell Common Core teaching methods used to introduce the material. But hey, you guys should pay more attention in class to what/how the teachers do it, we wouldn't have this nightly problem...(in other words, "It's your fault.") We sit down to dinner, discuss expectations for tomorrow's school day, clean up, shower, and ready for bed. Following my repeated "No" answer to every request for more dessert, to stay up, to finish one last race on Wii Mario Kart, they slink into bed, and I dive into one last glass of red wine, because I need it to relax... these kids stress me out! Wait.... the wine is gone. Didn't I just buy this bottle?! Oh well. I'll get another bottle tomorrow, chances are I'll need it. I deserve to indulge... I'm a good mom.
I finally make it to bed myself. I breathe. I reflect. I'm a good mom........ right? The doubt sets in. Or maybe it's the wine. I reach for my phone, browse Facebook, search for a few Pinterest ideas on parenting (I have quite a lengthy parenting board that is full of nothing but good intentions), forget about the day. Just to start over again in the morning.
That was our typical day to day life, at least Monday thru Friday, while enrolled in our public charter school. Life was busy, hectic, and unorganized (due to my overboard attempts to gain organization). It was down right NO FUN. This is a typical family life with school age kids, right? If you have school aged kids, you're to expect hectic schedules, constant resistance to preparing many mornings, forgotten assignments, teacher meetings, homework battles... our parents did, why are we to be any different? This is life, this is normal. I didn't know how wrong I was.
I woke up. No, I'm not referring to the next morning. I mean mentally. My kids deserve better, our family deserves better. I'm not setting good examples to my kids when I myself am always rushed, unorganized, stressed, angry and then turn around and chastise them for being the exact same way. I'm proud of how unique my kids each are, how different and down right kick-ass they are in their abilities and remind them just how important it is to always be that way, but for 7-9 hrs a day, 5 days a week I send them somewhere to be conformed and judged. How bass-ackwards and borderline hypocritical is this?! But if they are not to be in school, then where? What other option is there?
I told myself that I could never homeschool. I don't have the patience nor the knowledge to be their deliverer of education. I'd go insane and I'd fail them. However the notion slowly ate it's way deep into my thoughts and it consumed much of my day. Research, reading, library books, blogs, talking to other homeschooling parents who had been in my place. More research. Light-bulb. I CAN homeschool. I CAN be their guide. I won't fail them, I'm their mother, we are their parents, what better teacher is there than that?! I'm GOING to homeschool. I'm going to allow my children to BE children, trust in their abilities to learn naturally from living their life with joy, happiness, guidance, and the freedom to be themselves, rather than the slow growing stress, anxiety, anger, and depression that they have encountered since Kindergarten. I want to give them this gift, they deserve it!
I told myself that I could never homeschool. I don't have the patience nor the knowledge to be their deliverer of education. I'd go insane and I'd fail them. However the notion slowly ate it's way deep into my thoughts and it consumed much of my day. Research, reading, library books, blogs, talking to other homeschooling parents who had been in my place. More research. Light-bulb. I CAN homeschool. I CAN be their guide. I won't fail them, I'm their mother, we are their parents, what better teacher is there than that?! I'm GOING to homeschool. I'm going to allow my children to BE children, trust in their abilities to learn naturally from living their life with joy, happiness, guidance, and the freedom to be themselves, rather than the slow growing stress, anxiety, anger, and depression that they have encountered since Kindergarten. I want to give them this gift, they deserve it!
Now, we wake up when we are ready, happily greet each other in the morning, we even sometimes have breakfast together. We have nowhere to rush to, no pointless assignments to forget, no cold lunches to throw together. We now have meaningful family outings, social field trips with other amazing homeschooling families, more quality time to enjoy each other's company at home, playing video games, board games, baking & cooking, snuggling watching movies, creating art, reading! We find educational opportunities in much of what we do, without even trying. I'll admit, since leaving public school only 2 months ago, we are still in a much needed deschooling phase, but the benefits are already surfacing. I've always been a good mom to my kids, but now I actually believe it.
We are almost detoxed from what we always knew to be learning. We are almost renewed with a new-found respect for each other, and as a family in whole. We are almost on our way to enjoying a more fulfilling and meaningful life together. We are almost unschooling!
We are almost detoxed from what we always knew to be learning. We are almost renewed with a new-found respect for each other, and as a family in whole. We are almost on our way to enjoying a more fulfilling and meaningful life together. We are almost unschooling!
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